Wednesday, December 1, 2010

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Did you know that parenting can be hard? Or that being a parent that works outside of the home can be heartbreaking? It's true.

Nick started preschool on Monday, and will be going three days a week. Part of the reason is to put my MIL back into the role of Grandma, and not third parent. But, we also think that it will be good for him. He needs people, and does not have any playmates his own age. Initially Oscar was going to keep him the other two days, but my MIL requested to have time with him, so she'll be coming over Thursdays and Fridays to get the boys ready and take Nick home with her.

Drop off went well Monday and Tuesday, he barely stopped to say goodbye before he was off exploring the classroom. Today, however, he didn't want me to leave. He didn't want to stay. And he was crying. It hurt to see him crying for me. Because I had to leave. I had to take Gabe to school and I had to go to work. But I didn't want to leave. I wanted to scoop him up and take him home with me.

I know this is a good environment for him. He's been wanting to be in school since Gabe started Pre-K last Spring. He has had no problems adapting and the peer environment works well for him. He eats what everybody else is eating and naps because everybody else is napping. Yesterday I asked him what he learned that day, and he told me he learned how to eat a meatball.

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In other news, I finally finished my degree last week. I still need to get in contact with my Academic Counselor to determine the steps to get my diploma, but I'm done. Just in time for the craziness of the holidays.

We had Thanksgiving at our house this year. Oscar's mom, dad, and sister came. I made my sweet potato casserole just because I love it, but we ordered our meal from Wegman's. It was supposed to be heat and serve. However, we missed the fine print, where it said everything was frozen. So heat and serve took a lot longer than expected. It was good though. Wegman's is always good. My MIL also made deviled eggs (Oscar's favorite), cornbread, and pumpkin pie. Oscar's uncle was supposed to come too, but we found out at the last minute that he was not going to be there. He didn't have other plans, so I'm not sure what that was about.

Oscar and I did hit a couple of stores on Black Friday, not because we really needed anything, but just for the fun of it. We waited in line until midnight for Old Navy to open and picked up some clothes for the boys. We also went to Toys 'R' Us and while we did find a couple little things for the boys, the lines were so crazy that we decided not to buy anything.

My MIL spent the night so Oscar and I could hit the sales. The plan was for her to take Gabe to their country house to spend the night, so they could get the Christmas decorations. However, when they were getting ready to leave, Nick thought he was going too. He even went into the garage and got his Lightning McQueen suitcase and put all his Beanie Baby birdies in it. He was so excited about it, we asked if my MIL could take him too, and we would just drive up a little later and get him. He was so happy.

On Saturday evening, after Gabe and my MIL got home, we went to see the lights display at Bull Run Regional Park. It's a great display and the boys loved it. I loved seeing how excited my boys were with every display.  The entire park is lined with lights with different themes as you drive along. At the end is a little carnival, which the boys wanted to go to, but it was freezing out. Riding a Ferris wheel when it's 30 degrees and dark out, just does not sound like a good idea.

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It feels so weird that today is the first day of December. I'm not sure where the year went. I remember all the big events of the year. Nick's 2nd birthday. Nick's stay at the hospital. Our vacation at Great Wolf Lodge. Moving into our house. Gabe's 5th Birthday. Gabe's first day of school. Gabe's t-ball games. My trip to Seattle for my 10-year reunion (which I skipped in favor of hanging out with a friend and watching a movie at the local Cinebarre). Our 6th anniversary.

Tomorrow is my 29th birthday. My last year in my 20s. I'm not sure how I got his old. I don't feel like I'm old enough to be 29. Or to be married. Or to have two children. I still feel 18, discovering the world outside of school and my home for the first time.

Next year I will turn 30, which just boggles my mind. How can I be almost 30? It's so old, and yet it isn't. I still have the majority of my life ahead of me. I have my children to watch grow up, graduate high school, then college, get married, have babies of their own. I have so many years ahead of me. And yet 30. I'm not ready for 30.